Why buy the cow....

“Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.”

                                                                  (Kimball, S.W. 1980.)

Wow! Does this describe our society today or what? Back in the olden days, when I was growing up, it was pretty much a given that everyone would get married and have kids. That's just what you did and you did it in that order.  But a major cultural shift happened in the early 60's and things have never been the same. 

A Cultural Shift

     I think one of the roots of this cultural shift began with a small pill - the first ever birth control pill. This little pill gave women an unprecedented freedom from pregnancy and began the sexual revolution that has shaken apart the family like nothing else. While there is nothing inherently wrong with taking the pill or family planning, I believe that it has given the false illusion of sex without consequences or commitment.

      As a result, this shift of values escalated, leading to a 'love the one you’re with' attitude that prevails today. Cohabitation and divorce became more and more acceptable, devaluing marriage and the importance of committed, two parent families. Our collective focus shifted from the what is best for the family to what is best for the individual. As a result, we've become an instant gratification, me-first, throwaway society, and our children are suffering. 

Impact on Children

            

       In the State of Our Unions 2012; The National Marriage 

Project report, it stated:

  

"Throughout history, marriage has first and foremost been an institution for procreation and raising children. It has provided the cultural tie that seeks to   connect the father to his children by binding him to the mother of his children.   Yet in recent times, children have increasingly been pushed from center stage." (Marquardt, E., et al, 2012).

     

Studies show that children are more vulnerable to poverty, abuse, and emotional insecurity when raised in unwed, cohabitating or divorced families. “Research clearly demonstrates that children growing up without two continuously married parents are more likely than other children to experience a wide range of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, not only during childhood, but also into adulthood.” (Amato, 2012)

Returning to Marriage 
     
        I am not advocating a return to the past and the second-class, barefoot and pregnant status of women. But isn't it time that we take a hard and honest look at the consequences of what this self-centered, no restraint attitude has done to the family and society as a whole? Isn’t it time we stop giving ‘the milk for free’ and bring marriage back to its rightful place as the most fundamental and effective unit in society?

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I am committed to following the principles outlined in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” (First Presidency. 1995.) I am thankful for the guidance given by modern day prophets that helps me to strengthen and fortify my family.

References

Amato, P. (2005). The impact of family formation change on the cognitive, social, and emotional wellbeing of the next generation. the future of children, Vol. 15, No. 2, Marriage and Child Wellbeing (Autumn, 2005), pp. 75-96. Princeton University

Kimball, S.W. (1980, November).  Families can be eternal, Ensign, 4. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Marquardt, E., Blankenhorn, D., Lerman, R.I., Malone-Colón, L, & Wilcox, W.B. (2012). The president’s marriage agenda for the forgotten sixty percent, The State of Our Unions. Charlottesville, VA: National Marriage Project and Institute for American Values. p.84

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (1995). The Family: A Proclamation to the World. Retrieved  from https://www.lds.org/study/manual/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng May 4, 2019.