High Love/High Standards

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives-mothers and fathers-will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations."

Piece of cake, right?

Parenting. Is there anything more difficult, more frustrating, more exhausting, more emotionally draining? Can anything else bring us more joy, more delight, more meaning, more love? Being a parent is definitely the most daunting and rewarding job we do. It can be difficult to navigate the muddy waters of the world today, with it's shifting values and disdain for the things we treasure.

So how do we accomplish our sacred duty and give our children the best foundation upon which they can build their lives? I love this concept of High Love/High Standards, presented in a talk called "Building Zion Together" by Elder Kim B. Clark. I think as we apply it to our efforts, it can help us keep perspective and focus while working towards loving and teaching the little ones that Heavenly Father has entrusted to us. Thoughts, anyone?

"The nurture of the Lord is His warmth, kindness, and strengthening power; His mercy and grace; His divine encouragement, good cheer, confidence, and hope.  The nurture of the Lord is the pure love of Christ.

The admonition of the Lord is the laws and commandments of the Lord, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, the doctrines of salvation, and the ordinances and covenants of the temple.  The admonition of the Lord is the standard of His glorious gospel.

These two dimensions combine to create a framework I have found helpful in understanding how we help each other.  Think of this as a map of your efforts to help your roommates and friends establish the doctrines, attitudes, and practices of Zion in their lives. 

With love-low to high-arrayed across the diagram, and setting standards-low to high-arrayed up and down, we get four zones:  1) low love, low standards; 2) high love, low standards; 3) low love, high standards; and 4) high love, high standards.

Whether you are a roommate, a friend, a home or visiting teacher, or a family member, if you are trying to help someone establish the patterns of Zion, you need to be in the upper right zone.  You need to be in the zone of Zion, the zone of high love and high standards.  There are two reasons.

First, the upper right is the only zone where we are fully living the gospel.  It is the only zone where we love one another with the pure love of Christ and teach the standards of the gospel by precept and by example, the way the Savior would teach them.

Second, the upper right zone is the only zone where you can help another person establish the patterns of Zion effectively.  Look carefully at the other three zones.  In each one an important part of the gospel message is missing.

High Love-Low Standards:  You love and support, but don't teach doctrine or encourage righteous attitudes or actions.  Your message is:  The gospel is not important.

High Standards-Low Love:  You admonish without love, and so what you say sounds arbitrary, harsh and judgmental.  Your message is:  You are not important.

Low Love-Low Standards:  You neither love nor admonish.  Your message is:  I don't care about you or the gospel.

In the zone of Zion the message is:  I care.  You are important.  The gospel is important."