We all know the classic story of the 3 pigs and the big bad
wolf - it's the cautionary tale of being unprepared for troubles that may come
knocking at our door. If I have learned anything in my 61 years of living, it's
that no one is immune to the big bad wolf. He will come to all of us at some
point or another, huffing and puffing in his best attempts to break down our
walls. If we have not built them strong enough, they will inevitably fail
and come crashing down around us. If we are teachable, we can escape to rebuild
again, stronger and more resilient. If we aren't, we are at risk of being
consumed by the ravenous wolf and suffer regret and sorrow.
Natural
Adversity
In
his talk, 'A Covenant Marriage', Elder Bruce C. Hafen talks about three wolves
that can repeatedly test a marriage: natural adversity, personal imperfections,
and excessive individualism. (Hafen. 1996.) My husband and I have had our
share of visits from the big, bad wolf, especially natural adversity. We have
been self-employed in the construction business for most of our marriage and to
say it's been difficult is an understatement. We were hit extremely hard during
the economic downturn in 2007-08. We lost our business and the newly built,
custom home that had been our dream for years. Then in 2009, I began suffering
from unexplained neurological symptoms that affected my balance and compromised
my ability to walk. I also began having stroke-like episodes that temporarily
impaired my speech and left me with muscle weakness and chronic headaches.
These things combined to trigger a long bout of major depression for me.
Building
Strong Walls
So
how did we survive the crushing financial problems and debilitating illness? I
believe it is because we built the walls of our marriage to last an eternity.
We decided 40 years ago to enter into a binding contract with one another that
was more important to us than anything else. And 5 years later, we extended
that contract in the House of the Lord to include sacred, eternal covenants.
Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, said:
"Eternal marriage is not merely a
temporary legal contract that can be terminated at any time for almost any
reason. Rather, it is a sacred covenant with God that can be binding in time
and throughout all eternity." (2006)
We made the conscious decision that we would
not allow anything that happened on the outside to destroy what was most
precious to us on the inside. We made the choice to look at things through an
eternal perspective and seek to learn and grow from our adversities. We chose
to support one another through our trials and become closer in the process.
Has any of this
been easy? Not even close. Have we had dark days? More than I like to remember.
Have we been blessed? There is not room enough to receive it all!
Eternal
Perspective
I don't mean to
imply that getting married in the temple makes marriage easier. It is still
work and involves patience, sacrifice, long suffering, and calling upon the
Lord in prayer. But when we understand what marriage means through an eternal
perspective, we begin to look at problems, both major and minor, with different
eyes. It gives us greater strength to withstand the wolves of our mortal
existence when we know that there is an eternal reward.
We have since
rebuilt our business - it is still difficult and stressful. I still struggle
with my balance and have become permanently disabled. But we continue to lean
on each other for support and are richly blessed in all things that matter. The
wolves still howl outside, but we're safe and warm inside.
References
Bednar,
D. (2006, June). Marriage is essential to his eternal plan. Ensign. Retrieved
from https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?
Hafen,
B. (1996, October). Covenant marriage. Ensign. Retrieved
from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng
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