The Curse of Our Day

 President Kimball has warned us that "infidelity is one of the great sins of our generation. The movies, the books, the magazine stories all seem to glamorize the faithlessness of husbands and wives. To the world nothing is holy, not even marriage vows . .. It reminds us of Isaiah, who said: 'Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil. .. .' (Isaiah 5:20)." (Goddard 2009)

 The Curse 

         A happily married young woman had recently given birth to her first child – a boy. She was blissfully happy – everything in her life was working out just as she’d always hoped it would. That is until the afternoon the police raided her home looking for pornography after her husband was arrested in a child pornography sting. Or what about the woman who was almost done raising her 7 children and was looking forward to spending quality time with her husband of 30 years? That dream was shattered when she discovered his unfaithfulness that began with viewing porn on business trips and escalating from there.

            Pornography has become the curse of our time. While it has been around for ages, it has only recently become more mainstream and acceptable with the advent of the internet and smart technology. It is available to anyone 24/7 with a few taps on the keyboard, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.

No One is Immune

No one is immune from its powerful grip. The two families I mentioned were faithful Latter-Day Saints. The men held leadership roles in the church and were well respected in their jobs and community. They were not evil men. What began as curious exploration became an addiction that broke the hearts of their wives and children, as well as sacred covenants with God, and in one case, resulted in felony conviction.

As much as the world would like to pretend that viewing pornography is harmless and even normal, we know differently. President Boyd K. Packer said “Pornography will always repel the Spirit of Christ and will interrupt the communications between our Heavenly Father and His children and disrupt the tender relationship between husband and wife.” (2010). Psychologist Victor Cline, who specializes in pornography addiction treatment, explains that “It degrades love, and it is destructive of human personality and male-female relationships.” (1971)

Fidelity

In the “State of the Nation Report: Fractured Families”, it says “A fundamental building block of most stable family relationships, and an explicit promise of marriage, is that of sexual exclusiveness and fidelity.” (State. 2010.) Some would argue that viewing porn does not constitute infidelity but that is simply not true. In fact, the report goes on to state that “A major factor driving the increase in infidelity and relationship breakdown appears to be the rapidly increasing accessibility of pornography via the internet” (2010). Fidelity in marriage requires a commitment to your spouse of heart, body, mind, and soul, and porn breaches that commitment. President Packer again said, “Pornography, flirtations, and unwholesome fantasies erode one’s character and strike at the foundation of a happy marriage.  Unity and trust within a marriage are thereby destroyed.” (2010)

Goddard offers this advice to prevent any kind of infidelity in marriage: “Do not allow the seeds of lust to germinate. Do not look on another woman or man with lust. Do not entertain mental fantasies of romance or passion. Do not let your mind be poisoned with the sick encounters in soap operas, worldly literature, or any form of pornography.” (2009)

The Cure

Is there hope for one caught in the snare of pornography? Thankfully, there is. Much like other addictions, it is difficult but not impossible to overcome. The leaders of the church have recognized that this has become a huge problem for many individuals and have developed a program to help those affected called the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP), a confidential 12-step program based on gospel principles. (To learn more, go to https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org)

Like all things, recovery is possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Goddard included this quote from a Christmas devotional given by President Benson and it provides a wonderful perspective on the blessings of turning to Christ:

Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace. Whoever will lose his life in the service of God will find eternal life.  (2009)

Our marriages are too precious, too sacred, to allow anything to destroy what God has ordained. Not only must we protect the trust between husband and wife, we must also consider the trust children have in their parents. They depend on us to do the right things and protect the family. We would be wise to adhere to this council from Jeffrey R. Holland:

Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thought can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and tell them where the silverware is kept! Throw the rascals out! Replace lewd thoughts with hopeful messages and joyful memories; picture the faces of those who love you and would be shattered if you let them down. (Holland. 2009)

References

Cline, V. (1971).“A Conversation on Things of the Spirit, Pornography, and Certain Kinds of Movies, Books and Magazines,” New Era, May 1971, 11.

Goddard, H. W. (2009) Drawing heaven into your marriage. Cedar Hills, UT: Joymap Publishing. Retrieved from https://content.byui.edu/file/821fd904-e409-49a9-b078-7fff99c33387/1/Drawing%20Heaven%20into%20Your%20Marriage.pdf

Hollard, J. R. (2009) Place no more for the enemy of my soul. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints General Conference. October 2009. Retrieved from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2010/04/place-no-more-for-the-enemy-of-my-soul?lang=efi

Packer, B.K. (2010) Cleansing the Inner Vessel, Ensign. Retrieved from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/cleansing-the-inner-vessel?lang=eng

The State of the Nation Report: Fractured Families. (2006) Appendix 5: Pornography, sexual infidelity and family breakdown.